How to Keep a Keeper

So you've met a wonderful woman - she’s gracious, polite, elegant, sophisticated and beautiful, how do you ensure you really treat her like the special charm that she is? The Sloane Arranger readers no doubt know basic rules of etiquette, but do you really know how to treat a lady like a lady? There are some absolutely essentially yet brilliantly basic rules that men should keep up their chic sleeves to keep that keeper happy.

1.       Appreciate her and value her

A woman loves to feel like her man appreciates her and values her opinions, her career, her dreams, her body. If you show her how much you respect her and are proud of her, she will stay close to you. If you don’t, she will simply find someone who will.

2.       Don’t play games

Unfortunately this is something that English guys can be guilty of. You know you’ve been there. On an evening out you see an attractive lady nearby and what do you do??

NOTHING!!!

You would rather sit there all night and avoid the chat up line than have to approach a girl (and no, 11.30 at night as the pub is about to close and after you’ve had several pints, does not count as courage).

Get her number, call her (don’t text her) and meet up with her. Don’t wait two days because you think it’s too keen – you’re the man you’re meant to pursue your woman. If you don’t you’re not cool, you’re just cowardly.

3.       Make her your priority

The moment you prioritise anything over her whether it be your job, your family or your dog you will make her feel like you don’t cherish and value her. If you make her your priority she will make you yours. 

4.  Stand By Her

Woman are strong, but sometimes we like to feel like a man has our back. In fact, we love feeling protected by our men as it makes us feel cherished. If someone is having strong words with your woman always stand up for her without flinching and do not allow anyone to speak badly of her. Even if you don’t always agree, you can discuss this with her afterwards, but never in front of anyone else should you undermine her, she will lose respect for you.

5.       Give good gifts or don’t gift at all

I say this especially to readers of this blog, who are sophisticated and dapper sorts. I must stress, if you give a cheap gift to your girl, she will think you think of her in this way. My ex-boyfriend once bought  me a microwavable hot water bottle for Christmas and I can assure you our relationship didn’t last much longer than New Year’s Day. It wasn’t about the material value that bothered me, but the complete lack of thoughfulness and consideration.

Don’t buy her things on sale or she will think you are cheap; don’t buy her second hand tat or she will think her life with you will be a car boot sale. Get her something that makes her go wow and her heart will soar – believe it.

6.       Don’t mess up more than twice

Most wonderful women are reasonable people. They will find it in their hearts to forgive, but they won’t necessarily forgive forever. Don’t take advantage of good nature as that good nature will show you the door and you will only live to regret it. Mess up once you may be lucky enough to be forgiven, mess up more than twice and you’re just a fool.

7.       Never disrespect her family

So even while she sits there and moans that daddy only bought her three horses this year, or that she really wanted the green Chanel handbag from her brother for Christmas it’s not your place to chip in. In fact if you do, you’ll not only hurt her feelings, but disappoint her as she probably thought until then you were a pretty stand-up guy. If you try to love her family like she does, she will love and respect you all the more.

8.       Support her passions, and she will be passionate about you

This one is a brilliant basic but often overlooked by guys who are successful and ambitious. It’s not always about you guys. Her career and passions are important too! I once had a client, who had the most perfect relationship but the only complaint she made was that she really felt like her boyfriend was calling the shots as his career was felt to be more important. Just because you might happen to earn more (and you might not necessarily) it doesn't mean you matter more ok guys.

9.       Always give more than she does. She should never support you

Another brilliant basic but there is no such thing as 50/50 in a functional relationship. Woman can give, but in my opinion relationships always work best when a man gives more. The moment she starts to support you, she’ll think she could do better so whilst it’s absolutely fair for her to pick up the bill every now and then you are the man, and therefore you are the predominant provider.